I was 19 years old, covered with stink, sweat, sunburn and grime, at the business end of a shovel on a farm near Carus, Oregon. The air was still and sticky from the heat. I was thinking about how long the day had already been – with several hours left to go. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my employer, a country farmer, walking my way. His head was down and he was moving slowly. As he approached, it seemed as if there were some unseen struggle going on inside him. When he finally reached me, he simply said “Your Dad just called. You need to go home. Right away.”
I went numb, devastated by the shock of hearing those plain and potent words. Something was horribly wrong. As I raced down the road, struggling to stay in my lane, the scenarios came flooding into my head. Did my brother or sister get in a car wreck? Had a distant relative passed? Was it a fire? As bad as these situations seemed, none of them prepared me for what came next.
My Mother was dead. An aneurism, deep in her brain, had suddenly burst and she was gone. Just like that… Her life was over, cut short at the youthful age of 45. She had devoted her entire adult-life to raising a family, making a happy home, and bringing joy to those around her. I’m certain this made her happy. And giving up her own dreams of travel and adventure for our sake, didn’t seem like a sacrifice to her at all. It was all part and parcel of my parents’ “once the kids are gone” plan. You know this approach – work hard, put off your own aspirations and enjoyment until your family is raised – and then you’ll have the time and the wherewithal to enjoy the next chapter in your life. Now, for both my Mom and my Dad, this chapter would never be written.
And so it was, that same afternoon, I sat next to my father struggling through his tears. In a sobbing expression of grief and despair he gave me a priceless gift. He said… “Kev, if there’s anything in life you want to do, GET OUT THERE and do it ‘cause you never know when your number comes up.” This moment of anguish and reflection changed my life forever. I realized in very depths of my soul, that I could either make the most of this time on earth or squander it. I could face the end of my life with memories of living fully and pushing my limits or regrets of what might have been. It changed me in an instant and has guided me through every moment since.
I have travelled to many outstanding places; Kona, Rome, Venice, Moscow, St Petersburg, London, Zurich, Amsterdam, and Sydney. I’ve been to all 50 US States. I’ve appreciated unique and distinctive main streets throughout small town America. I’ve climbed glaciated peaks, put on a wetsuit for a swim-race in the Pacific Ocean, jumped from an airplane, camped in a fire-lookout, wind surfed, skied, rafted white-water, and put on roller-blades. I’ve fallen down, felt scared, failed, and got back up. I’ve become a competent cook, an accomplished coach and a loving father. I’ve seen live Shakespeare theater and concerts with Eric Clapton, Prince, Bob Segar, Heart, ZZ Top, Lynard Skynard, Pearl Jam and many more. I brought home the Springer Spaniel I dreamed of as a young boy. I persuaded the love of my life to join me.
I want to make this time count. I want it to matter – making a difference and leaving a legacy. I want my story to be that I lived fully – with joy, passion, courage, playfulness, love and adventure. What will your story be? We all have our own…